Some of you know that my daughter was found to have a shopping addiction this year, with its attendant lying, stealing and gaslighting.
It was an effort to get over the shock and disbelief at first and then how to practice?
It took time and hence my gratitude for the Dharma seal of impermanence, because it slowly did change.
In those early days I threw that second arrow at myself many times, wanting my anger, mistrust and unforgivingness to be over already!
Practices like the one I copied to you helped in the dark days, giving my pain to the Buddha, ancestors and Mother Earth. As I got lighter, I was then able to do practices on self-compassion, self-forgiveness and then compassion and forgiveness for Lena.
I do these practices regularly as I see how easily I can get caught up in doing and lose the tender open connection with myself. If I lose it towards myself, I lose it towards everyone and I so want to learn who this new daughter is now! I watch my expectations, Buddhism calling this my attachment to having it a certain way.
Self-compassion, befriending myself when I make mistakes in communication, seeing my goodness and that of my daughter’s. These have been my keys.
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