Dharma Glimpse by Luna
I’ve noticed that the judgment my ego makes as a way to keep me safe, or to get a need met, can get in there first before my desire to be connected & supportive. This shows up particularly in my family, as I’ve become aware of dynamics & patterns. (Remembering the Ram Dass quote ‘If you think you are enlightened; go home!’.) Then my expression is received as annoying, smart, & can be triggering, causing disconnection & leave me feeling misunderstood. Since learning more about our bombu nature from Satya & Kaspa’s book, I feel more humble & able to hold space for the discomfort of the mirrors I see in my parents, & am working my muscle of compassion & understanding with them.
During a recent visit to my parents, I was out walking the dogs with my mum. She was telling me how she’d lost one of her favourite earrings when gardening, & was really gutted about it. I acknowledged her frustration, noticed where I’d sometimes feel judgment here, & shared gently that I’ve been squeezing the hooks tightly closed on my current favourite earrings, which are whale tails made from vintage spoons by a friend in Tasmania that I got myself as a special gift when I lived there. I did this as I said it, feeling that they were safely in my ears. We continued our walk, during which I really opened up to her about where I’m at with my spiritual journey, which was a beautiful conversation where I heard & learned more about her beliefs, her openness & acceptance. On the way home, I realised one of my earrings had fell off it’s hook & I was left with just the hook in my ear! Despite my extra earring security measures, the fact I’d been switching the pendant out & opening/ closing the loop on the hook repeatedly & often in a rush, had meant it had still not been secure after all. Mum said it could be anywhere, without much hope in her voice, & that she was tired so she’d carry on home, I said I’d retrace my steps. I walked off & spoke out to the infinite, ‘I believe in you either way, but I’d really like to find my earring – please let it come back to me’. I scanned the ground feeling positive & hopeful I could find it, all the way back to where we’d been, & it was getting dark, but no luck. I smiled as I felt this was a reminder that me & mum are both the same; that we’re all human & fallible; something I am feeling increasingly safe to admit. It felt like this was a little offering, for me to put my newfound perspective to practice.
I arrived home & as I walked in, my brother told me mum had found my earring on her way back! We were both pleased – & I let her kindly advise me to be careful with them. I’d let down my guard of needing to ‘have it together’, & let more of me be seen, which had allowed this growth- enhancing, quite magical experience this evening.
Perhaps my hopefulness & believing I could find my earring, helped her to see it shining on the ground. Perhaps this will stay with her. Maybe she’ll even find hers. Either way, accepting my bombu nature & mum’s, & showing more of myself, dissolved barriers between us & brought mutual support, understanding & appreciation. A beautiful reminder that everything is in flux, always, & the more of us we reveal, the deeper our connections can be.
Namo Amida Bu x
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