I was in a small supermarket with my partner – I wanted a sandwich before I headed off for an evening study group and he was getting food for him and our son to have dinner. I had a very small amount of money left in my bank account before payday. I wanted to buy some chocolate but could only afford the sandwich. He didn’t know any of that, I kept it to myself. Coincidentally, and out of the blue, he offered to pay for my food. It was an everyday kindness and something he’s good at. But instead of saying ‘thank you’, enjoying the moment and the kindness, I found myself saying ‘well, if you’re paying for my food I’ll get some chocolate too’. Leaving him at the till putting the shopping through, I rushed up the aisle to grab the chocolate. I did, of course, say thank you… but I was quite overwhelmed with the speed with which my mind had grasped. Habit and craving are strong, and my addiction to chocolate is one I regularly struggle with. Amongst all this I could hear the Buddha whispering to me ‘slow down, there are gifts here for you that you are missing’. Sometimes I miss out on the abundance I already have when I’m grasping for more. The chocolate was nice, but in many ways, the kindness was much much sweeter.
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