Dharma glimpse by Alex Merry
I’ve recently been having some medical tests, which have revealed that I may have a (hopefully treatable) cancer. I’m still awaiting some more tests, a biopsy, to tell me the truth about where I am.
I’ve been trying to keep calm and positive and I think I’ve been doing a pretty good job of that, on the whole. I’m a worrier by nature and an emotional person, so I’ve been surprised by how well I’m getting through the days. Fear of fear, seems more damaging than any medical condition, in terms of my mental health.
I returned to work last week after a while away from work. I’ve been smiling and chatting and generally been hiding the way I’ve felt inside, with all the uncertainty and worry washing around, as it naturally will do.
I work for the National Trust at a castle. Some visitors came, 2 parents and a little girl. I chatted a little with the little girl and teased her gently and then we moved on and I was chatting with the parents. After a while, we parted and they wandered off into the gardens.
About 20 mins later, the family were walking back from the gardens, when the little girl broke away from her Mum and Dad ran towards me. She handed me a little bunch of daisies and buttercups she had found in the gardens growing wild, saying ‘these are for you’ and gave me a huge hug (from such a small person !).
I struggled to hold back the tears.
I don’t know what the learning is, but I know in that moment, this little girl must have sensed I was troubled and sought to help and show love, even though she didn’t know what was really happening and there was nothing for her to gain.
There’s something in all that about just doing something lovely for someone else and helping to brighten someone’s day, even when you don’t know or understand.
Maybe sometimes, that’s just all that matters.
That day, it mattered to me and I will never forget.
Namo Amida Bu.
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